Moggiepillar's Megamorphosis

It seems I have overlooked a crucial part of the internet: eBay. I should have looked on eBay after the Amazon failure, but I actually didn’t even think of it. After the first person directed me to eBay, I told them I would go and find a nice comfy brick wall to put my head through. That was around 8:30 this morning. Since then, I have about six or seven links to eBay pages that have this CD. I also have many bruises on my pride and more on my head.

I have learned a few things from this experience;

1) Google does not help all situations.

2) I can make myself look like a total idiot without effort.

3) I have trust issues. I didn’t want to order from anyone but Amazon because I thought professionals would handle it better. Look how that turned out.

4) Brick walls are a lot harder than they look. They will hurt you.

So you see, I know what it’s like to look stupid. I guess that is what makes me so understanding. I’m so ridiculous and awkward, I’m cool. And humble. And funny. Did I mention awkward?

I love music. I like all kinds of music. I can go from listening to Lady Gaga to Celtic music to Flyleaf in a heartbeat. I do, like most other people, have a favorite type of music. If you asked me, I would describe my favorite music as Symphonic Heavy Metal with Amazing Vocals that are Usually Female. You could call it SHMAVUF for short. There are some exceptions to the Usually Female bit of the description. I listen to Kamelot and a few other lesser known bands that are not fronted by women. In all, most of the bands I listen to have women as their lead singer. A few examples; Nightwish (Not New-wish. More on that in a minute.), Within Temptation, The Gathering, In Tenebris, Lacuna Coil, Sirenia, Xandria, Theatre of Tragedy, Epica, and many more.

My favorite of all of the people in this genre is Tarja Turunen, a Finnish soprano who is – in my opinion – the Queen of Metal. She was an original member and lead vocalist of the formally epic band, Nightwish, until her “dismissal” in 2005. How was she dismissed? She was dismissed through an open letter posted on the internet. This open letter can be read here. You can watch her response to the open letter here.

Nightwish replaced her with someone named Anette Olzen. Anette is okay in the studio versions of songs, but she can’t sing live. This makes me wonder if her voice is sent through AutoTune. I have yet to find a good live recording of her. The Nightwish of today is not Nightwish without Tarja. This is why I call it New-wish. I can’t begin to describe how much I love Tarja and her voice. She is an amazing woman and my goal is to own all of her music on CD. This goal has led to a disagreeable amount of disappointment and about fifty dollars down the drain.

Our story begins in early November, 2009. I had just been on the Tarja website and found that she had a new edition of her first solo album, My Winter Storm, coming out. The Limited Fan Edition was all I wanted in a Tarja CD. It was a two disk set wit lots of bonus tracks and live recordings. This was the version I wanted. This was the version I was going to save up for. There were a couple set backs. The only way to get it was through the German Amazon. As I cannot read German, my father (who can read German) helped me get on the site. The price would be about thirty dollars plus shipping, handling, and import. My parents have been on a tight budget recently, so I decided to raise the money myself. After buying Christmas presents, I realized that I would have to save up all over again. Immediately after that, money got even tighter and my siblings and I stopped getting allowance. Now, let us hop into the time-machine hiding in the garage and move forward to June, 2010.

We had started getting our allowance again, and I had been saving every penny. It was a little frustrating sometimes. I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me. Sometimes it was hard though, like the times I didn’t get a drink when we were running errands. It was hot and I wanted my cherry lemon limeade. When I say hot, I do mean middle-of-summer-muggy-sweaty-humid-way-down-in-Lousianne hot. I’m going off on another deer trail, aren’t I? Anyway, I ordered the CD from the German Amazon and waited for a month for it to come. I was so excited when it finally arrived. I opened it with a huge smile on my face. My face fell as soon as I saw the cover. The Fan Edition has a different cover than all the other versions of My Winter Storm. The normal cover has Tarja facing the front. The Fan Edition that I ordered had Tarja facing the front. here, let me show you.

My Winter Storm: Limited Fan Edition

My Winter Storm

As you can see, they are different. They sent me the wrong one. I sent it back. After much online searching, failed attempts at buying the MP3 and some pouting,* I ordered it again on the Amazon for the US. I spent all of yesterday waiting to get my CD. I was going to upload it onto the computer, put it on my iPod and listen ’til I fell asleep. The UPS man came at around 6:30 in the evening. it was already dark. I walked into my mother’s office and asked to borrow her scissors to open the package. My hands were shaking I was so happy. This may sound melodramatic, but music really does mean that much to me. This CD meant a lot to me. I opened it to see Tarja facing me. Tarja was not supposed to be facing me. Tarja was supposed to be looking at her shoes. Since Tarja was looking at me, she got to see my face fall. I was holding a CD with 12 tracks instead of 32. It sort of ruined my day.

The second failure of a CD is currently on its way to Kentucky and I am here typing this. I am currently listening to nothing. It would be great if I could tell you I am listening to my brand spanking new CD, but I cannot. The Universe does not seem too enthusiastic about me getting this item, but I will get it eventually. I will not give up! I will prevail! There will be Tarja!

As I bid thee goodnight, dear reader, I leave you with one of my favorite Tarja recordings. This is “Ever Dream” from Nightwish’s 2002 album, Century Child.

*I’m nothing if not honest.